It's early on a Thursday morning, generally a good time of day for you because you've ventured away from South Royalton, VT and in addition to enjoying the crisp morning air, you got to watch the sun rise over the mountains.
You walk into your office, turn on the lights, singing to yourself the chorus of that annoying Lady Gaga song that's always on the radio- but today you don't even care, 'cause spring is here and life is good. You go to turn on your computer, and that's when you notice it. . . an unusual open space to the left of your monitor.
"Hm, that's strange," you think to yourself. "I know I didn't bring my document stand home this week... where the hell did it go?" The strangest part is that the papers are still there, along with the blatantly sentimental magnet that was holding your papers to said stand. So you're just sitting there, wondering who would have committed such a brazen act.
You ask around the office, thinking for certain that someone must have just borrowed it. Everyone looks at you like you're crazy, of course. "Document stand? What in the world are you talking about Jenna? Why would I take something from your office?" And they're right. The space is quite obviously occupied, so why in the world would someone take something from it that was so blatantly in use?
(I've included these photos to illustrate my point that there is no way to misinterpret whether my office is being used. Who the f*!k leaves family photos behind when they quit a job?)
And then your supervisor shows up. "I'm confused," you say in as non-accusatory a voice as you can muster, "I seem to have misplaced my document stand."
"Oh," he replies, "Rebecca from Stormwater was here the other day picking up some files, and she took it."
The room starts to go blurry. "Is this a joke?" you think to yourself, surely nobody in their right mind would be so bold as to steal something from another persons office. But you're just the intern, and apparently that scorpion woman didn't care who she was wronging.
Now back to reality. In all seriousness, this really isn't that big of deal. It's the principle of the thing, you know? That was MY document stand, given to me as a gesture of promoting proper cervical function by an old internship supervisor. As strange as this sounds, that stand had sentimental value. And who in their right mind takes ANYTHING from an office without asking someone first?? This woman doesn't even work in our office!! The last time I checked, the Rutland ANR offices were not the State Employee Shopping Centre. Get real.
Who did this woman, Rebecca, think she was taking it from? There was no mistake that the stand was in use. I had documents on it, along with a magnet. She took the time to remove my things from the stand, and then proceeded to steal from me. There is no excusing this abominable behavior, and this aggression will not be tolerated.
As it stands (no pun intended) my supervisor will be retrieving my stolen property from the thief sometime this week. Until then, I'm left with this sorry excuse for a replacement:
I couldn't even bring myself to put the documents back on it. I was far too riled for anything so reasonable.
Now I'll get that document stand back. You mark my words. Nobody steals from Jenna Calvi and gets away with it. Aside from that guy who broke into my car sophomore year of college. Or whoever stole my bike last summer... god damnit!!
There is no proper resolution to this post, and so I'll wrap this up with a promise of revenge. When all this is over, Rebecca from Stormwater will know my name- and she will rue the day she stole from my office.
Rue.
The.
Day.
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