I wrote last time about a conversation I had during a weekend with some friends in Portland, Maine. I wasn't really sure what to say about it at the time, but now that I've had a couple of weeks to reflect I think I could explain better why it had such a profound impact on me.
Love is so embarrassing. I've done my fair share of launching head first into relationships that were probably about as doomed to fail as the economy. Now while I'd like to think I'm the only who has ever felt this way when I'm wallowing in self-pity for that requisite week after- I'm most certainly not. So why the hell do we so readily put ourselves through such pain and agony? I don't have an answer, but I can honestly say that I'm really, really glad that I've done it. Every time.
The conversation I had with Ross and Clint was about formative relationships. You know what I'm talking about- that one relationship that really molded how you feel about romantic encounters. For better or worse, whether you still can't look at that person's name on your Facebook News Feed, or you're still the best of friends, every time you get involved with someone new you'll think about that relationship and the things that went wrong and the things that went right.
It's really easy to just feel bad about a relationship ending, go through the mourning phase, get pissed, rebound, and move on. But I think it's an important learning process as well- something you should take time to reflect on and carry with you as a launch pad into your next gut-wrenching encounter with whatever sex you're into. 'Cause who knows... maybe this time it won't be so bad.
Now I've been on both sides of this, and while I can justify the pain I've been through I cannot make up for the hurt I've caused. Nothing will make it better, but I do regret how I've behaved at times. I've learned from these experiences just as much though, and admitting I've been wrong also helps to ensure growth in the future. I hope that the people on the other end of these affairs can say they've learned something as well.
So, in sum, despite the complete torment that so many relationships end with, I have no regrets. I've had the great pleasure of meeting some really incredible people, and I'm proud to say I've known them in one life or another. Life is about human connections- good and bad.
"Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love." -Sam, 'Love Actually'
Listen to "Fuck was I" by Jenny Owen Youngs
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